Prayer Request

Please Pray for Baby Ellie and her mommy!

Baby Ellie had a traumatic birth which resulted in some head injuries in which her mama is being blamed for. Baby Ellie has been taken away from her mama.

Please pray that they are united!

I Feel A Change Coming

I have been frustrated for a very long time, but I’ve try to just be patient. Wait for Mike to make the final decision. The first time this situation happened it took nearly 2 years to make our ‘move’. Then this situation happened a second time… and now it is happening a third time. I am trying still to be patient. Let the Lord speak to Mike. He is the head of this house.

I try to ask God,  “What is it that YOU want us to do?” For some reason I have been having a hard time hearing His answer, which makes this situation very difficult on me.

I keep questioning Him…

“Did you want us to stay ‘put’ 2 years ago when we moved into a new ‘home’?”

“Was it YOU who said ‘go back' to where you came from & shed some light?”

During that time period I felt very heavy. I felt like we were NOT listening to you & were pressured to move back. I was not happy. 

Then after a while I gave in & thought…

“Ok God, maybe this was YOU that moved us back – even though I am not happy about it – maybe there is a purpose. Who are we supposed to reach?” 

Now I am not so sure.

Maybe it was ‘just for a time’ and now our work is done. We did touch a few. We tried. It is over though. It’s time to move on. But ‘on’ to what?

This is what I am not sure of… and what I am impatient for. I want to know His plan for us & I want to know NOW.  Where He wants us to go. We know what we were called to do… but where do we do His work?

TELL ME  LORD, HERE I AM!

Amongst the heaviness.. this chapter coming to an end.

Amongst this heaviness, I feel peace.

Finally.

Peace.

Whatever is in store for us… it will be GOOD.

Please pray for Mike & I – that we go where the Lord wants us.

Pray. Please.

This is a little off topic.

I am at a loss for words tonight. My heart hurts.

Two mothers lost their babies within this past week. I know we hear of these things all the time in the news, but every-so-often it hits a little closer to home.

This is one of those times.

This hurts more than just a story on the news.

I belong to “WTE” which is “What To Expect” (dot com). A parenting website for moms. I have made some very good friends there. I signed up when I started trying to conceive Gracie. It was July 2008. I had not gotten my positive pregnancy test result yet. All of us mommies joined at the same time. We all got our positive test’s together, morning sickness together, went through our pregnancies, labors, births together… and so much more. We have raised our babies into toddlers together. Some mommies had been on other ‘boards’ with a previous pregnancy/baby. And a lot went onto another board & had a baby after our 2009 babies, or are pregnant now. We are family. We are a big support system of moms that genuinely care for each other. Whether we know each & every woman or not, we are all family.

This week was a devastating week. First we lost a 9 week old baby. He was born at 24 weeks instead of 40. He only made it a short 9 weeks. I can’t imagine the pain his mommy is feeling.

Then Monday another mom lost her 2 yr. old. (Literally)She took a nap & woke to her son missing. Police have been looking for him for 2 days now… only to find him this morning at 11:30. He did not make it.

I prayed and prayed. I thought for sure they were going to find him alive & ok. I couldn’t grasp the fact that he wouldn’t make it.

But he didn’t.

I don’t “know” these two women. But like I said above… we are one big community of women that genuinely care for each other.

Mike & I were up late last night. We were sitting on the couch talking about this. It was so late. Poor Emmett had been gone now over 24 hours. It was dark now. Emmett’s 2nd night in the dark.

I can’t imagine any one of my kids all alone in the dark. Lost. Not even our oldest one. I sure can’t imagine my Gracie wandering out my front door… out in the dark night all alone.

I can’t.

I just want to bawl my eyes out. I want to throw up. I want to fall down & scream out & beg God to do something. WHY? Why does this have to happen? Emmett was only a mile away from his home… there had been people searching for him, why couldn’t they get to him in time?

I can’t imagine his mother. I can’t imagine what she is going through. I would NEVER want to imagine what she is feeling or thinking right now. EVER.

EVER.

This is so devastating.

This shouldn’t be. This should be something that no parent should ever have to experience.

Please pray for these families during this time of loss.

All day yesterday & today… Gracie is hobbling around here getting into trouble. Throwing her little fits. Taking toys from the new girl. Being very demanding. Demanding to “eeeeeat” but then NOT EATING what she asks for. She played in poop yesterday when she woke up during nap time in her crib. I’ve stepped in my share of cheerios on the kitchen floor today. She ate the wood on her crib – really bad! I mean she TORE IT UP! She head butted me in the nose yesterday & brought tears to my eyes….

…but through the last 2 days, I can’t help but hold her as much as I can. Kiss her every chance she gets near me. Touch her soft skin whenever she passes me by. Talk to her no matter how many time she says something to me in “Grace-ish” that I don’t understand...

Thank God every second of the day that my family is still in one piece in this world. I apologize to God because I have taken so much for granted. There are so many times that I am so happy that it is bedtime or nap time, so I can get some peace. I am ashamed that I take so much for granted… and here are these moms that have to wake up tomorrow morning with out their babies to kiss and hold.

Horrible.

My heart hurts tonight.

Please Pray.